The Neo-Narcissist's new toy

"For the most part people are not curious except about themselves." - John Steinbeck

Narcissism: Definition - "excessive interest in oneself and one's physical appearance."

I would safely declare that the decade leading upto 2011 as the "Decade of the Narcissist." Througout history, people have been narcissistic and experienced narcissism in their own personal ways. From Queen Cleopatra to Marlon Brando to Barack Obama, history is replete with fascinating stories of famous narcissists. However, I believe that the first 10 years of the 21st century put individual narcissism in the spotlight. It has shown us that all of us, famous or otherwise have a narcissistic streak, some more than others, some more distinguishable than others. However, there are several people who are yet to unleash their narcissism upon this planet. This article is for them. Through this, I hope to help some of those people who would like to share their greatest feelings of self-idolization to cope with the rising pressure imposed by their fellow 21st Century human beings.

Facebook is one of the greatest tools that a narcissist can have. It is a social network that allows one to make friends with his/her existing friends or mild acquaintances (online) or make new friends online. It is perhaps the greatest invention of the 21st century for the narcissistic human being. People on facebook allow their feelings to run amok. For instance, a post by a friend of mine about how he was "wasted and lying in a pile of his own/or somebody else's (he doesnt know) puke with a concatenated line saying "Best Night ever!" received 33 "likes" and 20 friends commenting on how his life was so fulfilling (even if it was in somebody else's excrement).

People can voice their most insignificant thoughts on facebook and be instantly recognized and hailed by their circle of friends. A simple thought from you like "I love the rain" might have several people agreeing with you and appreciating your 'love for nature and everything beautiful' (yes, that happens). Not only thoughts, but did I also mention that you can share pictures and videos. So, that picture of you doing a "V" sign with your hands next to a hooker from Bangkok is a photo that is sure to get you a lot 'o' love with the ladies ;)

If you are a gorgeous woman looking to flex your narcissistic muscles (not that you dont already), you will love facebook. There are desperate men (some seniors as well) who will comment on how 'interesting they found your profile' and whether you would like to 'mk frndshp wth thm' (even without the vowels).

Or you could even be a 'Thought Leader'. You could post clever links and interesting articles on facebook and be hailed as a 'cut-above' your set of intellectually deficient friends. You can "like" a few key pages like "Salman Rushdie" or "Arundhati Roy's fight for the Narmada Valley" and be seen as an erudite activist-in-the-making. If you are part of some social causes, then you have hit the jackpot, because you are seen as an left-wing intellectual and could get you virtually laid (yes, virtually).

Then there are the philosophers. These are the people who post the most rehashed philosophical thoughts and gain the admiration of their circle of friends who consistently believe that 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' is a holy scripture. Their consistent stream of quotes like "PRAYER is not an attempt to change GOD's mind, but an attempt to let GOD change our minds" shows us that "its not important to be original but to appear original at all times."

If you are looking to expand on your sense of concsiousness and self-worth, Facebook is the place for you. Dont fear that you will be chastised for your inadequacies or misgivings. You are guaranteed to not be the worst person out there....

Disclaimer: The author has performed all of the above and is yet to find his narcissistic sweetspot. He would like to place on record that he is willing to experiment with more social networking tools where he can show that he is superior to all of you.